Even if you can't help, you must know!
Every Single Day
Dear Daughter,
I’m sorry that that you had to see me in handcuffs. I’m sorry I could not give you a hug goodbye. I’m sorry that you had to worry that you would never see me again. I’m sorry I could not explain to you why I was being taken to jail. The officer from The San Diego Police Department said I was being arrested for Driving Under the Influence. I did not know why I was being arrested for this because I was not drunk. I’m sorry I did not know I was also being arrested for Willful Cruelty to Child, but this fact was hidden from me for several years until I applied to renew my teaching license and you were a big girl by then.
I’m sorry that San Diego County Child Welfare Services charged me with Severe Neglect based on the officer’s Willful Cruelty to Child charge and because he told them I was being arrested for DUI so they probably assumed I was drunk. I’m sorry the case worker lied on the referral and said that me and your Dad refused to respond to her repeated attempts of contact. I’m sorry that my phone carrier, AT&T, allowed any contact that I made with Child Welfare Services to be erased so I could not prove the truth even though I was being charged with a crime. I’m sorry you absorbed my pain even when I did not want you to but you could feel everything about me and you could feel a change. The light went out of my eyes that night and so the light went out of your eyes.
I’m sorry I believed that I must have done something wrong because I could not believe that those in power would wrong me. I’m sorry I wasn’t stronger. I’m sorry I was so naïve. I’m sorry I believed my attorney when he told me I was being charged with a separate count of Child Endangerment so I’d submit a plea. I’m sorry he wrote “drove a vehicle recklessly with alcohol in my system” on my plea which I did not write and which I did not tell him to write because I did not do that. I’m sorry I got punished and put in a drunk driving school when I was not drunk.
I never had my driver’s license suspended or revoked but the San Diego Police Department said I was drunk based on the blood results yet they reported no crime to the Department of Justice and the DOJ determined that I was detained only and never arrested. And my DMV record also said I had never been arrested even though I had to attend a drunk driving school. I’m sorry that the San Diego County District Attorney’s Office also participated in the corruption; a member of the prosecution changed my blood alcohol certificate by removing the uncertainty of measurement statement from it.
I’m sorry that while you were in the swimming pool with the neighbors, I was on the computer trying to prove my innocence. I’m sorry that when you asked me if I could play, I was on the computer trying to prove my innocence. I’m sorry that when you wanted to go to the park, I was on the computer trying to prove my innocence. I’m sorry for all of the pain this has caused you but I hope you know that I only fought because I could not let them destroy us any more than they had. I fought to get justice and I am still fighting. And I want you to know that I will always fight because I will never be right in myself if I do not.
I’m sorry the San Diego Police Department, San Diego County Child Welfare Services, and the San Diego County District Attorney’s Office worked together to falsely prosecute me. Although the conviction was only for reckless driving, it was based on drunk driving and I didn’t do it and I am still working to prove my innocence and to get this false conviction overturned. Since I recently discovered that the SDCDA’s Office participated in prosecutorial misconduct and committed fraud by changing my blood alcohol certificate, I now know that legally, I am factually innocent. I’m sorry it took so many years to uncover this and to figure it out. I’m sorry that you are no longer a little girl and that you are grown now.
I’m sorry I could not be there for you in all of the ways that I wanted to be but I had to fight to right this injustice so our family could heal and I am still fighting and we are still healing. Dear daughter, please know that I loved you always and that I am sorry for all of the pain this has caused you. I’m sorry that “America’s Finest City” participated in the destruction of our family.
Love,
Mom
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